The unauthorized use of the names LINDA and/or CHRIS in this interactive narrative is prohibited by Title 18, Section 2201 of the Suburban Neighbor Protection and Lawn Sign Defamation Act.

Any attempt to thinly disguise real individuals who mow their lawn every other day, open their garage for no reason, and once accused a woman of attempted murder over a dog-urination dispute will be forwarded to the appropriate authorities.

The individuals in this story are entirely fictional. Any resemblance to persons living on a corner lot in McKinney, Texas, who blurred their own house on Google Maps, is purely coincidental and also not our problem.

Violation carries a penalty of up to $250,000 and/or having to listen to their garage radio. Please select different names.